If you read my recent post The Spiritual Warfare of our Harvest Trip, you know that I’m in the midst of an intense spiritual journey these days. There is a pattern in my life that Hashem seems to follow when He has something important for me to understand. Like with the way He introduced the Torah to me, He has followed a similar pattern several times with various subjects. Basically what Hashem does is introduce a topic to me and then put in front of me a variety of resources on that subject (because He knows I’m a resource junky) and then He puts in my path people and situations, even radio and TV programs, to reinforce the message He wants me to understand. Sometimes I’m paying enough attention to follow along. Other times it takes a while before I catch on, but He is always patient with me. B”H
Years ago a dear friend, Rivkah, often mentioned a book called A More Excellent Way and the ministry of Be In Health. I recall the conversations about how sin affects our health and the spiritual roots of disease, and I was intrigued but it wasn’t anything that really inspired me at the time because I wasn’t sick and neither was anyone else in my family. This was something that the Father had brought into her life and she was excited about it but we were busy sorting out the issues of Torah and it’s consequences in our lives.
Several years later a dear friend, Julie, recommended a particular study called Demolishing Strongholds by Restoration Ministries International. Wes and I printed this study, one for each of us, and we went through it individually and discussed our thoughts on the material in the evenings. It was very helpful and we learned a lot, but we also loved the other resources that were available through the ministry. It was a goldmine of resources to add to our tool chest at the time.
A few years later I was spending time with Rivkah and Sherri and the subject of spiritual roots of disease came up again. We had some wonderful talks together about all things spiritual and this was just part of the conversation but I was intrigued by their personal stories related to their understanding of spiritual roots of disease. Rivkah offered to loan me two books that both she and Sherri thought would be excellent resources for our family, A More Excellent Way and The Three Battlegrounds. Wes and I read through The Three Battlegrounds and our whole family used A More Excellent Way as a family unit study and “read aloud”. We learned a lot and were truly excited with what we were learning but also as we implemented the things we were learning we were seeing encouraging changes in our lives and our bodies. Needless to say we purchased our own copies of these books and have since recommended them to our friends and family as well.
At the same time that we were reading these books and the Father was making all sorts of connections in our understanding, I was introduced to Riverton Mussar and really wanted to participate in that program. The time wasn’t quite right then but I never forgot my desire to participate in this character development program, not until this fall. Now as a family we are studying through the Riverton Mussar program with Everyday Holiness and our personal journals, focusing on one spiritual character trait at a time.
What amazes me is the way that all of these resources are related, and how much they are impacting my life!
Each of us have a spiritual curriculum and our task is finding out just what our personal curriculum entails. We were all created with certain soul-traits (humility, patience, honor, generosity, etc) and when these traits are out of balance, we struggle. Humility out of balance becomes pride or a lack of self-esteem. When we have pride or self hatred in our lives we are walking in sin and there are physical consequences to our sin, and we tend to pass our sins on to the next generation. Our spiritual curriculum takes us on the journey deep into the spirit to uncover what is hidden and what needs to be removed as well as what needs to be balanced.
As I continue to battle through this season, I’m realizing that what is taking place is like wine in a wineskin. Yeshua said that new wine isn’t put into an old wineskin but that new wine is put into a new wineskin because putting new wine into an old wineskin would cause the wineskin to burst. This made me think of how each of us grows and develops as we walk through our spiritual journeys. Our new wine matures and develops into something wonderful. I figure I’m in an intense stage of fermentation lately and my wineskin is stretching. ;)
Then my mind went to the refiner’s fire and how the heat makes the impurities surface so that the dross can be scooped out. This seemed to fit my journey of late best. It feels like the Father has turned up the heat on my spirit and is allowing me an opportunity to release all that sludge. At first I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, or why. A friend of mine wrote that while in Israel, Hashem kept him “off balance and uncomfortable” the whole time and I thought that was a wonderful description of how I felt while I was in Israel this fall and since I’ve returned home. I wrote in my earlier entry about how all sorts of things in my life were surfacing, things that I thought I had dealt with and squared away. Apparently it was time for these things to surface again, revealing that they had only been hidden and not removed. It was time for Hashem to turn up the heat, and I wasn’t quite prepared.
As I’ve continued to pray and study, one person reassured me that some things I was experiencing was like a “spiritual detox” and not to be too upset by the surfacing of ugly and upsetting things. The ugly things that have been hidden (and some that have been in plain sight *blush*) need to float to the surface so I can work together with my Maker and cleanse them from my life. But oh how painful of a process this can be!!! What ugliness!! What discomfort!!
And yet, as uncomfortable and ugly as this process can be, it is a true blessing. This past summer I modified my daily prayers to include the request that the Father mold me, make me, shape me, correct me and discipline me, so that I would wear His Name rightly and bring Him glory, honor and joy. I suppose I didn’t realize what I was asking. But as I have learned to walk through this season I have understood that the King of the Universe is answering my prayer – because He loves me. :) (do you know I couldn’t ever write, say or believe that before?) It’s a beautiful thing. All beautiful things come with a degree of pain – like childbirth. So as my ugliness rises to the surface making me uncomfortable and off balance, I’m beginning to understand that this is the process by which my Father is disciplining me and making me into a better vessel to carry His light. And for that, I am truly grateful!
Thank you for writing this. It has been very helpful.
Blessings to you,
Melanie
I enjoyed resources from Restoration Ministries too. I esp. liked the way community works. I have enjoyed following you on your spiritual journey. I know your family has grown and been blessed. It’s a delight to see!
Lisa, I can totally identify with feeling off-balance and uncomfortable. I’ve been feeling that way since the fall festivals. I mentioned I did a course of Riverton Mussar until my partner suddenly passed away (may her name be for a blessing!), and was really enjoying it. The problem with Mussar is, once you start it, you begin to think of all sorts of other people who could benefit, but then you realize you can’t manke anyone improve themselves.
May you have great success and blessings in your studies!
Anne – do you need a partner? Even though I’m working through it with the family, I’d be happy to be your partner as well.
True, I wish that all of my friends would be able to study Mussar and grow from it. Maybe as the rest of us find blessing through it, they’ll be inclined to take a look for themselves.
Lisa-
Thx for sharing. I can completely relate to the “intense time of fermenting”.
Lisa, thank you so much for the offer, but I don’t think I’m ready to resume Mussar yet. I would however, love to stop by for coffee sometime and talk about some of the other things in your “spiritual detox” regimen! Would you ever be into that?
Abosultely, Anne! Stop by anytime.
This Mussar movement is steeped in New Age thought and practices. Really? Is this what you believe and follow? Please do some research and you’ll see.
I didn’t realize you have experience with this Mussar program. We haven’t come across any “New Age” or otherwise inappropriate teachings. What did you find when you were looking at their materials?
I know that the modern new age movement has tainted our perception of words like “Meditate” but in reality it is a practice found all throughout the Bible. Meditation – being still before Hashem, thinking deeply and listening for His Spirit, is a common and encouraged practice. Whether you meditate and dwell on a particular phrase as a way to focus your thoughts (since I tend to bunny trail all over the place in my mind in my quiet time) or whatever, it’s not a “new age” thing. That’s a human thing. It’s like today’s Christian culture saying that “mystical” is evil when the entire gospel of John is entirely mystical, like the charismatic church tends to be mystical. The words have been hijacked by a modern worldly movement but today’s pagan movements have no bearing or relation to what these things truly are. Things can be used for good or for evil – it depends on whose hands they are in.
As far as this particular Mussar program, it’s been a tremendous benefit to our family as we have one character trait per week to focus on and search our hearts to find the areas in our lives where we fall short and need to make adjustments in our lives. For example, humility, loving-kindness, responsibility and moderation are traits during this month. So I’m curious as to what you’ve found as you’ve looked into Riverton Mussar.
I am not familiar with the Mussar movement, but I am familiar with such practices as chanting and visualization to attain some purpose usually something having to do with the ‘light within us’ or ‘elevating our consciousness.’ This “movement” is supposed to train you to be better people with stronger morals but it seeks to do this by using physical, natural means. This is a spiritual matter that the Ruach changes which will in turn set you apart but again, it is not something we can do in the flesh. They snooker people into this because it all for a good reason – to be more ethical and holy. How many error-filled movements and religions exist all under the cloak of moral self-improvement? Too many to count. These practices from this movement are the SAME ones I used to practice when I was a New Age occultist. I was also a practicing witch for many years and at the time, I too believed that I was doing the right thing. The noble thing. And I tried arriving at this spiritual place by physical means. I concentrated on energies and chakras, chanting, and visualization. Some do yoga. Yes we are to be holy and set apart, but not by way of repackaging new age, witchcraft, and psychotherapy.
Self-esteem is not scriptural but it is a part of worldly thought. In fact the bible speaks of the opposite. The bible mentions many times to love others as you love yourself. Notice he doesn’t command us to love ourselves because that is what comes naturally to us. No, instead, we are to love OTHERS, and hold them in higher esteem than ourselves. We are to be humble and lowly, not puffed up and free of guilt.
Look, all we need is the inspired Word of God. None of these movements, these patches, or these steps for self improvement is for us to achieve because it is ultimately the work of the Ruach HaKodesh to work in us, to lead us into truth, and to make us holy. You may think you’re benefitting from Mussar and can probably give examples – the problem is that the end doesn’t justify the means. The problem is that people that get caught up in these movements often cannot break from them due to their “experience”. Experience trumps truth and when that happens, you’ve already been deceived. I encourage you to stay away from these strange movements and concentrate on what Yahweh gave us – His Torah which is the entire bible.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, and I hear your concern. I have a few thoughts in response.
You say you are not familiar with the Mussar movement and then go on to tell me how it works. I am confused. What I understand is that learning to be still and quiet before the L-RD is not something that even originated with the Scriptures, it was a common practice as old as time. If someone took the natural and in-born desire to seek G-d in a still and quiet manner and used it for pagan worship, does that negate the one seeking Hashem make the whole practice evil? This is not the same as “reclaiming” things like pagan holy days, temples or practices. I pray to my G-d and he prays to his god, is all prayer now tainted? What about burning incense in the Third Temple – since others burn incense to their gods will Hashem not want incense burnt in His Temple, will having a Temple itself now be wrong? Where do we draw the line?
I understand that because of your experiences you have insights that the rest of us don’t have, and I’m thankful that you are willing to share your experiences so openly. However, there are always two sides to each coin.
I heard a definition of witchcraft that said something along the lines of “using the powers of Heaven without the proper authority”. I can see how a wide variety of things can fall into the category of witchcraft, but not everything that is called witchcraft actually is. If I have a particular Bible verse that I’m contemplating and I say it aloud to myself several times as a way to keep my mind from running off to my grocery list or whatever, that could be considered “chanting” – but is that evil? Now if I think that by doing so I’m going to be creating something or manipulating something or whatever else, then YES that is witchcraft. I’m not condoning every practice that Mussar teachers teach about, just the same as I wouldn’t condone every practice that the Charasmatic Christians get into. There is discernment to be used in everything!
As to the issue of self-esteem, it IS a Biblical concept. We are instructed in the Torah to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” but a better translation would be to “love your neighbor as your equal”. We do not naturally “love ourselves”, I speak from experience. I hinted at it in my original post, but for my whole life I’ve truly believed that I am worthless, useless and unlovable. That’s not a healthy self-esteem. I know as many, if not more, people who think less of themselves as those who think too highly of themselves. Our self-esteem needs to be balanced – not thinking of ourselves too highly and not debasing ourselves either. When our Mussar program topic for the week is self-esteem, it’s about having a balanced self-esteem. Self-hatred is an unbalanced self-esteem just the same as pride is and both are equal sins. We have a natural inclination to care for ourselves, like pulling our hands away from an open flame or flinching way from a sharp object. That’s not self-esteem, that’s self-preservation. Eating is self-preservation, not self-esteem.
I have another friend who often tells me “I don’t need any extra things to help me know G-d. All I need is the Bible and the Holy Spirit – He reveals everything I need to me through that.” I admire this, but it doesn’t work that way for me. I appreciate gleaning from the wisdom of others who have studied the Scriptures longer and more in depth than I have. I appreciate it when friends point things out to me that they’ve learned or share their “ah-ha!” moments with me because often it causes me to see a thing in a new way and consider it, but not always agree with it. The Ruach does indeed lead and teach us, and He’s not limited to just the Scriptures. The Ruach leads and guides us in ALL things. I do intend to continue to respect and consider the insights of Sages and scholars – but NEVER to put anything above the Scriptures and ALWAYS test everything against the Scriptures.
Again, I do appreciate your concern and your input.
I should clarify this statement: “I admire this, but it doesn’t work that way for me.”
I mean here that I appreciate that others can simply read the Scriptures and “hear” the Ruach speaking to their hearts and that this is enough for them. I appreciate this as well but I also appreciate hearing the thoughts and wisdom shared by scholars, Sages and friends. Often times these sources of input cause me to think of a thing in a new light and ponder things I hadn’t noticed before or been made aware of before. This helps to expand my understanding and encourages me to search the Scriptures more and more as I ponder their insights and comments. For me, this is of great value and the two together – the Ruach and input from trusted sources – are of tremendous value.